Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in the
basement to cook.
There is some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, bedroom,
front porch and backyard.
The living room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net bows and
stale almonds. (they are too pretty to open) A portrait of the Pope and
Frank Sinatra hang in the dining room. God forbid if anyone EVER attempted
to eat 'ChefBoy-ar-dee', 'Franco American', 'Ragu', 'Prego', or anything
else labeled as Italian in a jar or can. Meatballs are made withpork, veal and beef. Italians do not care about
cholesterol. Turkey is served on Thanksgiving AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi,
lasagna, and minestrone or shcarole soup. If anyone EVER says ESCAROLE, slap
'em in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.
Sunday dinner was at 1:00 PM sharp. The meal went like this.. The table was
set with everyday dishes. It doesn't matter if they don't match. They're
clean; what more do you want?
All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on
the left. A clean kitchen towel was put at Nonna's & Papa's plates because
they won't use napkins.
Homemade wine and bottles of 7-UP are on the table.
First course, Antipasto.
Change plates.
Second course, macaroni.
All pasta was called macaroni.
Change plates.
Third course, roast beef, potatoes and vegetables.
Change plates.
THEN, and only then - NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL - would you eat the
salad drenched
in homemade oil & vinegar dressing.
Change plates.
Next course, fruit & nuts - in the shell - on paper plates because you ran
out of the real ones.
Last was coffee with anisette - espresso for Nonna, 'American' coffee for
the rest - with hard cookies (biscotti)
to dunk in the coffee.
The kids would go out to play.
The men would go lay down. They slept so soundly that you could do brain
surgery on them without anesthesia.
The women cleaned the kitchen.
We got screamed at by Mom or Nonna, and half of the sentences were English,
the other half Italian.
Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but could nail you in
the head with a shoe thrown
from the kitchen while you were in the living room.
Other things particular to Italians:
The prom dress that Zia Ceserina made you cost only $20.00, which was for
the material. The prom hairdo was done free by Cousin Angela.
Turning around at the prom to see your entire family, including your
Godparents, standing in the back
of the gym... PRICELESS!
True Italians will love this.
Those of you who are married to Italians will understand this.
And, those who wish they were Italian, and those who are friends with
Italians, will remember with a smile.
